Categories : FAITH , LOVE
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Sometimes, walking away seems easier than staying back and getting hurt. “But hurt me all you can, I’ll stay with you because I love you”. I heard love is patient and kind… So, I won’t shout at you when you bad mouth ‘the Blues’ and Mourinho. I’d like to give you a lecture on what it takes to be numero uno. But because you think Arsene Wenger is the greatest of all time, I’ll accept your point of view and keep praying for you to see the light. And while doing so, I’ll buy you popcorn and a branded bottle of cold coke and hold your hands while I painfully watch the Gunners play… what else could be kinder?. Love is not Jealous…. so keep eating the juicy chicken and giving me the local fowl that makes me feel like I’m chewing on sand-paper… you think I don’t know your shenanigans? Ji sie ike! I’ll be fine. At least you have a smile on your face while eating… that’s the joy of my heart. Love is not boastful… if only I could remind you how handsome Marion Jones thought I was. Ok, yes it was in my dreams quite alright, but it felt real. I don’t want to brag about that, cos you’d feel bad. You know, I try not to look so hot when we go on a date, that way, you steal the show and everyone thinks you are more beautiful than I. I know they are right, cos you are the finest thing I have seen since Agege bread and hot Akara. Love does not insist on its own right or its own way… I’m half Calabar and I like Edi ka ikong, just the way the Calabar man knows it. What you serve me is Idi ku akong, more like a strange brother of the beloved staple soup. But it taste nothing short of perfect, I couldn’t find a single fault in your idi ku akong. The water was more than the vegetable. You garnished it with a single piece of half boiled meat. It looked more like something for Bingo or Bruno… I licked my hands after the meal. I enjoyed it because it cost you a lot of sweat, pains and joy to prepare it for me. Thank you. Love takes no account of the evil done to it… on your birthday, I cleared my account for you. You remember that diamond ring I bought you? They say only Aliko and Mr. Buffet had bought one before. Yet, you don’t even respect it. I see the way you cut the catfish and then dip your hands in big bowls of ground beans with that ring on your finger. Can’t you remove it when you want to make moi-moi? Ahn! Ahn! That ring is worth thirteen years of my hard work o. Then on my birthday, you send me a text message ‘God go make you bigger hubby… I love you. xoxoxo’. I choose not to remember. You didn’t even buy buns with your own money for me. You still had to ask me where I’m taking you to on my birthday. I’ll take you out on yours, on mine, on that of the kids too. I dey vex. But the sparkle in your eyes when I do take you out keeps me wanting to take you out. Can I take you out when Chelsea wins the league? Ok.., it’s not time to fight again, Arsene Wenger is still the greatest. Love is ever ready to believe the best of every person… I knew you snored, before we got married. But I didn’t know it was this legendary. It is bad enough that you keep me awake most nights, but it’s more traumatic when our neighbor sees me and begins to tell me how there’s a drug that can help me with my snoring disorder. He said: “mehn! Your snoring is matured, it’s on a different level”. I just smiled. But how do I tell him it’s not me? Off course, I’ll defend you in public till I die. I believe the best of you. I overheard mama Junior say she felt sorry for you because she is sure I keep you awake every night & that if it were she, I would sleep in the parlor every night. I immediately had a vision flash before my eyes of me walking toward her and blessing her on the face with my five fingers. You know, I mean that kain slap that reboots ones memory… I had to rebuke the devil because I’m born again. But since love never fails, I know one day you will believe in Mourinho and become a Chelsea fan, I believe you’ll cook Edi Ka Ikong like my beautiful Calabar mum does. I know you will buy me a Ferrari on my birthday, someday… I’m binding that spirit of el cheapo that keeps prompting you to send me SMS’ only, on such days. You will snore no more in the goodbye and bye, but till then, I’m sticking by you through thick and thin because I love you. 🙂


P.S:….its Tuesday, I won’t be home on time today… I know its Edi ka ikong with semovita on the menu. When last did I do something nice for Mfon the gateman? Just bless him with my own share tonight and maybe we can even bless him with my night meal every Tuesday. Let’s think about it. Love Ya!


I just rephrased 1st Corinthians 13 vs 4-8 (Amplified version) in my own funny way. Jesus’ love for me is Legendary. If you liked it, drop a comment, share the link, tell someone about page. Thanks.


Written by Richard Oti.

Facebook: Richard Oti

Image: Courtesy – Photo by Thomas AE on Unsplash


12 comments on “MR & MRS


    • October 3, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    Woa, that’s deep and insightful. I thought it was written by Chimamanda.
    Well done bro


      • October 3, 2016 at 5:28 pm

      Thanks a lot bro… Glad it was a blessing.


    • October 3, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    Indeed His love for us is extra ordinary. Very inspiring wow what you do on pen and paper marvels me. Ride on


      • October 4, 2016 at 6:08 am

      Thanks a lot Cuz… You have been kind and very supportive. God bless you!

    Delightsome Annie

    • October 12, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    Ok,I was wondering where I had read this earlier,on your fb page i recall! it could only be richard world! i laughed with tears in my eyes,every line stands out for me.I doff my hat for you sir.WELLDONE!


    • October 12, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    Thanks Delight.. You’ve been real supportive and kind with the comments. It’s much appreciated. God bless you!

    Michelle’ Wright

    • January 27, 2017 at 3:02 am

    I LOVE IT!!?? made me laugh and smile! It’s very beautiful genuine love like this! God is amazing and he puts up with our shenanigans lol


      • January 27, 2017 at 3:14 pm

      Thanks a lot Michelle.. Glad you liked it, and thanks for leaving a note to say so.

    Nma Otems

    • August 31, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    This is amazing. I had to come and read your other stories after I read Cupid & Sam Inc.

      Richard Oti

      • September 2, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Thanks Nma.. Glad u have enjoyed reading. Hope u come back again. 🙂

    Kelechi Amoo

    • April 16, 2018 at 2:51 pm

    Dear Richard,
    Where have you been all my life and why in the world did you study biochemistry? Straight up, you have to be the best author I have read and trust me when I say I have read quite a number. After I read Cupid & Sam Inc. (in less than two hours) you got yourself a fan for life. Please tag me in every single piece you write. Jisike!

      Richard Oti

      • April 16, 2018 at 11:06 pm

      Thanks dear KC for the kind remarks. I sure would tag you in the upcoming pieces. I should have been writing about chemistry, but here am I.. talking

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